i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
