Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
