last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
