I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
