My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
