This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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