So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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