she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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