you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
