you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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