We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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