I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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