i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
