Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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