You smell like a Billy Joel song
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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