my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
