Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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