we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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