Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
