so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
