I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
