Me. At least after what I've been through.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Im part way to drunk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
