I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
