I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
