I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
