Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
