"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
