Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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