pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
