I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
