i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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