Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
