NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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