Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
