So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
