If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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