I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
