When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
