How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
