Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
