I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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