That's intense
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
