seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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