it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
