i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
