would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
