I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
