someone get that fucking seahorse.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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