i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
