Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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